Now that Michael Jacksons dead you may as well learn to moonwalk

You never know when you might get the opportunity to moonwalk over someone's grave

Michael Jackson: plastic nose, dodgy white skin and a girls voice, dead. "Who'd want to be like him?", I hear you cry. Our answer is simple: you would. There is one good thing this Pop Princess has popularised (apart from being white), and that's the art of moon walking. Follow these simple steps and you can help keep his spirit alive (in a way that won't land you in jail.

NOTES

• If your right foot is the stronger of the two (like most people), then the following directions will apply to you. If you favour the left of the species then just swap right for left and left for right
• Try to find a smooth wooden surface for your moon walk, as this will ensure a smooth clean slide with no jerkiness
• Make sure you have at least 4m (6') of floor behind you. You don't want to get going and run out of floor mid-flight
• You need to be pretty relaxed to perform at your best and make your legs do what you want them to do. Taking on a robot quality won't do anything for you in the impressing stakes
• To begin moonwalking you need to be wearing either socks or loafers. Loafers are a type of slip-on shoe that are soft and flexible with a smooth sole.  This makes them ideal for moon walking. You know those pump type shoes you see Michael Jackson skidding across the floor in, while grabbing his balls? Well they're loafers. So, now that we understand each other, and you're in your desired footwear, lets get cracking
• (optional) For moral support, a monkey called Bubbles is also advisable

STEPS

1. Position your right foot slightly ahead of your left with your weight on your right. Bend your right knee slightly, raising your right heel in the process.

2. Slide your left foot backwards whilst bringing your right heel to the floor.  Try to end up with your left toes in line with your right heel.

3. With your left knee bent, switch the weight onto your left toes.

4. Now slide your right foot backwards as you bring your left heel to the floor.  Try to end up with your right toes in line with your left heel, like before.

That's all there is to it. Repeat steps 1-4 and you should just keep moving backwards. A couple of pointers: try to make this whole process happen in one smooth move. It'll feel awkward first time round, but with a bit of practice, you'll easily get the hang of it. Secondly, practice in front of a mirror (alone), and laugh hysterically like a child when you see yourself walk forwards and move backwards at the same time.

Now your set, so go forth my beauties, and show the world your skills.

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